Archive for March 2011

The Rotten Eggitorial: Twitter Twits need to SHUT UP!


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We don’t like Twitter. 140 characters would scarcely do justice to The Rotten Egg. However, TRE is guilty of succumbing to peer-pressure and regularly logs in to mingle with its 50-odd followers.

On the latest visit, most of them were going berserk over ‘Hoely Bible’. Now TRE doesn’t conform to any religion, but we have to admit it is offensive, to break it down we doubt there’s anything that connects the Bible with whores. Hence it’s easy to understand the furore when this innocuous phrase slipped through.
Within seconds, the anonymous offender was being burned in hell, impaled on the statue of liberty, trampled over by a dozen elephants and so on. Then there were others found the situation real funny, no doubt some real weird atheists. Among the curses and LOL’s there did prevail a couple of voices of reason, the smart alecks who were wondering how ‘Hoely Bible’ had turned a ‘TT’?

We understand little and care even less about trending topics, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how they work. After about a half hour of mindless surfing, the “why is ‘Hoely Bible’ a TT” outrage camp definitely outnumbered the “screw the $%%&&*^%$” camp. Our sympathies with the Christians and Christian sympathisers, but we’d sure like to give the latter a lesson in common sense.

The more you yap about it, the greater are the chances of innocent subject to trend. Notable examples include the unfortunate teenager Rebecca Black and now ‘Hoely Bible’. And we do we have an answer and the only solution to your problem – SHUT THE HELL UP! Stop talking you retarded parakeets, it’s only your dunderheaded “LOL! OMFG! Why is ______________ a TT? What the hell are you guys doing:-p????” that’s fuelling this bullshit in the first place. If there’s anything more annoying than the overuse of exclamation and question marks, it is the “:-p” that accompanies each query. It’s impossible to bash each of your empty skulls in, but believe us we’re trying. Until then, stop talking. You’ve obviously got nothing of intellectual value to dump into the internet or to insert into live conversation (chances of which are negligible since you probably live with a gazillion cats) so sew up your pieholes.


The Rotten Egg is proud to support ‘Earth Hour’ and sincerely hopes the world will soon have a ‘No Twitter Hour’.