14th October, 2010
Adrian de la Cruz for The Rotten Egg
Reporting from,
Mumbai, India.
The U.N. on Wednesday rejected an Indian student’s proposal to celebrate September 5 as ‘International Hurt Your Feelings Day’. An official statement cited that “the calendar is simply too packed to add another day to a day”. At present there are more than 700 holidays celebrated every year, which means that every single day has at least two mindless celebrations stuffed into it.
The decision comes a week after the U.N. declared October 7th as ‘Behead a Penguin Day’ much to delight of Japanese fishermen. TRE contacted the student (name withheld on request) and asked him to explain the reason behind his petition. The 20-year-old says that, “It’s high time oversensitive ****s put a sock in it. I mean, can’t funny people go five minutes without hurting somebody’s feelings?” The male then unleashed a flurry of abuses directed at adults that did not appreciate his sense of humour and had to be calmed down before continuing. “So, I thought we could have that one day where those *******s could snivel in peace and no one would say a thing and shut the ***k up for the rest of the year.
The student picked the wrong day to declare his disgust as September 5 is already celebrated as “Drool over a shirtless TV star day” and “Naked Spongebob Squarepants Badge Day”. His addition stood no chance. However, the Indian was unfazed and will approach the U.N. once more after thoroughly studying the calendar.
TRE couldn’t care less about “Lick Edward Cullen’s Left Nipple Day” and “Break Bones Like Evel Knievel Day” and requests all the jobless American couch potatoes who scratched their heads over such foolish revelry to go back to high school or to at least stop watching “America’s Got Talent”
Adrian de la Cruz for The Rotten Egg
Reporting from,
Mumbai, India.
The U.N. on Wednesday rejected an Indian student’s proposal to celebrate September 5 as ‘International Hurt Your Feelings Day’. An official statement cited that “the calendar is simply too packed to add another day to a day”. At present there are more than 700 holidays celebrated every year, which means that every single day has at least two mindless celebrations stuffed into it.
The decision comes a week after the U.N. declared October 7th as ‘Behead a Penguin Day’ much to delight of Japanese fishermen. TRE contacted the student (name withheld on request) and asked him to explain the reason behind his petition. The 20-year-old says that, “It’s high time oversensitive ****s put a sock in it. I mean, can’t funny people go five minutes without hurting somebody’s feelings?” The male then unleashed a flurry of abuses directed at adults that did not appreciate his sense of humour and had to be calmed down before continuing. “So, I thought we could have that one day where those *******s could snivel in peace and no one would say a thing and shut the ***k up for the rest of the year.
The student picked the wrong day to declare his disgust as September 5 is already celebrated as “Drool over a shirtless TV star day” and “Naked Spongebob Squarepants Badge Day”. His addition stood no chance. However, the Indian was unfazed and will approach the U.N. once more after thoroughly studying the calendar.
TRE couldn’t care less about “Lick Edward Cullen’s Left Nipple Day” and “Break Bones Like Evel Knievel Day” and requests all the jobless American couch potatoes who scratched their heads over such foolish revelry to go back to high school or to at least stop watching “America’s Got Talent”
