Adrian de La Cruz for The Rotten Egg
12th September, 2010
Reporting from,
Juhu Beach, Mumbai, India
It’s taken the Bombay police two weeks to admit that they spent two hours panicking themselves silly over an oily mass that eventually turned out to be a lot of plastic.
As always our correspondent Adrian de La Cruz was around poking his nose into the business as baffled cops and joggers stared mindlessly at the lump whispering wild stories to each other. Sometime in the night, the shapeless lump was washed up on the beach by the tide. As the first joggers and footballer kids entered the beach in the morning, most of them ignored it completely. It is not clear who called the police, but pretty soon a lot of them descended on the scene.
Barely five feet away from the ‘site’, a bunch of boys had set up shop and were chalking out their goalposts. As more and more curious residents gathered, hardly any of them blinked an eyelid even as a ponytailed goon pulled off an amazing ten consecutive step - overs and toyed with the opposition right - back. The boys decided to take the game to the uninterested crowd and deliberately played the ball close the lump, but the police did not seem to have the heart to shoo them away. On closer inspection, one could clearly make out their half-open eyes.
Finally however, they did swing into action and each of them brandished a battered walkie-talkie and spat into them for the next ten minutes. In response, a team of beach cleaners appeared and began dismantling the marooned item. That was the signal for the cops to relax their guard. Now they began to watch the football match in earnest and “ooh-ed” and “aah-ed” at the right places as chance after chance went begging. As more ponytailed goons warmed into their pseudo-Barcelona sleep-inducing tactics, the watchers stretched out comfortably on the bonnets of their jeeps.
The only event of note in the ensuing hour an half was an amazing finish by the captain of the non-ponytailed goon team that won them the match. In fact, this individual can pass and finish better than most the members of the current Juventus senior team on any given Sunday. As the salvaging and unwrapping concluded, out poured a lot of plastic tape in several sized, shapes and colours, clearly having floated off from the site of the oil spill. Our reporter’s hunch about the mass being covered with oil was confirmed when he got a closer look at it once the crowd’s attention was diverted by a brand new bright yellow Police ATV making its way down a rocky slope some distance away.
In the end, the cops who sought to hog the headlines by uncovering the head of a beached whale spent two boring hours next to a shit-ball of plastic and lot of senior citizens got fodder for gossip and an opportunity to spread more crazy rumours about monsters invading the city.
The Rotten Egg was instantly able to identify the object for what it was and requests the government to award strict punishment to the perpetrators of the oil spill that caused incalculable damage to the city’s coastline.
12th September, 2010
Reporting from,
Juhu Beach, Mumbai, India
It’s taken the Bombay police two weeks to admit that they spent two hours panicking themselves silly over an oily mass that eventually turned out to be a lot of plastic.
As always our correspondent Adrian de La Cruz was around poking his nose into the business as baffled cops and joggers stared mindlessly at the lump whispering wild stories to each other. Sometime in the night, the shapeless lump was washed up on the beach by the tide. As the first joggers and footballer kids entered the beach in the morning, most of them ignored it completely. It is not clear who called the police, but pretty soon a lot of them descended on the scene.
Barely five feet away from the ‘site’, a bunch of boys had set up shop and were chalking out their goalposts. As more and more curious residents gathered, hardly any of them blinked an eyelid even as a ponytailed goon pulled off an amazing ten consecutive step - overs and toyed with the opposition right - back. The boys decided to take the game to the uninterested crowd and deliberately played the ball close the lump, but the police did not seem to have the heart to shoo them away. On closer inspection, one could clearly make out their half-open eyes.
Finally however, they did swing into action and each of them brandished a battered walkie-talkie and spat into them for the next ten minutes. In response, a team of beach cleaners appeared and began dismantling the marooned item. That was the signal for the cops to relax their guard. Now they began to watch the football match in earnest and “ooh-ed” and “aah-ed” at the right places as chance after chance went begging. As more ponytailed goons warmed into their pseudo-Barcelona sleep-inducing tactics, the watchers stretched out comfortably on the bonnets of their jeeps.
The only event of note in the ensuing hour an half was an amazing finish by the captain of the non-ponytailed goon team that won them the match. In fact, this individual can pass and finish better than most the members of the current Juventus senior team on any given Sunday. As the salvaging and unwrapping concluded, out poured a lot of plastic tape in several sized, shapes and colours, clearly having floated off from the site of the oil spill. Our reporter’s hunch about the mass being covered with oil was confirmed when he got a closer look at it once the crowd’s attention was diverted by a brand new bright yellow Police ATV making its way down a rocky slope some distance away.
In the end, the cops who sought to hog the headlines by uncovering the head of a beached whale spent two boring hours next to a shit-ball of plastic and lot of senior citizens got fodder for gossip and an opportunity to spread more crazy rumours about monsters invading the city.
The Rotten Egg was instantly able to identify the object for what it was and requests the government to award strict punishment to the perpetrators of the oil spill that caused incalculable damage to the city’s coastline.
